I was a heavy heart to carry

It had been a long night. A better night, in fact, than usual, which really should have been Lucy's first indication that something had to give. Usually, good was something relative here, just meaning that anything awful had been kept to a minimum, but this, it was something different, something to be acted on. Out on the boardwalk, her bony shoulders were hunched forward, covered with a cardigan she had pulled on over the tank top she'd meant to be sleeping in; sleep, though, hadn't happened. She'd paced instead, then gone for a walk to clear her head, only to find that it was impossible. For all the time she had spent trying to ignore the way being around Bruce made her feel, for the sake of her sanity as well as their friendship, now, it seemed, everything had come to a head, and it was time to put an end to it. She had to tell him.

She hadn't ever spent a lot of time at Bruce's hut, but getting there was somehow instinctive, not requiring a whole lot of thought on her part, which was good, given that her mind was going in a dozen different directions already. There was still every chance that this could be a mistake, in any number of ways; it just had also become inevitable. It didn't matter, then, that it was the middle of the night, that she would probably be waking him, since she didn't expect him to be as busy thinking about this as she was. What mattered was finally, finally getting it off her chest, knowing where they stood. She'd had a hell of a lot of heartbreak on the island already; she could deal with some more.

Standing at his door, she looked tired, young, softer, somehow, than usual, and was distinctly aware that she wasn't quite herself, at least not how she'd been trying to be. It was a cycle she'd run through so many times before, attempting to stay closed off to keep herself from getting hurt, and failing at that now — there was really no other word for it — left her worn down. All the more reason to get this over with. Knocking a few times on his door, loud enough that she hoped it would get his attention, she bit down hard on her lower lip, before figuring maybe she ought to say something. "Bruce?" she called, unable to hide the slight hesitation in her voice. "It's Lucy."

Simply put, things were a fucking mess. The past two weeks had been spent worrying about Chase, a feeling not lessened by the fact that his recovery was imminent, and Lucy had begun to think she was nearing the end of her rope, though that wasn't anything new for her. Over and over, it seemed, just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, they did; this was only the most recent example, but perhaps the most powerful, too, given that it wasn't just the incident itself but what it called to mind that she couldn't shake now. So long ago now, she had been in almost the exact same position with Max, and this time, she'd had a second chance and blew it, not realizing just how fucked up things were until it was too late. She should have known; she could have stopped it. Instead, she'd almost lost one of her closest friends left on the island. To say that that hurt would have been a massive understatement.

To find out about the disappearances of Kate and Nate, then, only added insult to injury, nothing quite so bad as the overarching problems she already had to deal with. At least they had gone together, though a part of her couldn't help feeling a little envious for it, wishing she'd been able to go back with Ryan. For as long as it had been, she wasn't sure he was someone she would ever fully get over. Their being gone wasn't the worst she'd dealt with, not by a long shot, but it still left her with that familiar restlessness, leaving her wandering aimlessly down a path, itching for an outlet but not having yet found one. She longed for company, too, a reassurance that she wasn't totally alone here, though that was something she was less likely to admit.

She hadn't meant to stumble across the location of the punching bag, but what she had expected even less was to see Bruce there, going at it like it had personally offended him or something. For a moment, she just stood, not wanting to interrupt, but curiosity got the better of her. Besides, just then, there were few people whose company she'd have preferred. "Bruce?"